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Schmalentine's Day

An Alternative Guide To Surviving Valentine's Day

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You're one of a few different types of people on Valentine's Day. You're in the love bug camp positive for a perfect Valentine's Day with your significant other or yet to be met dream lover, you and your other half are #SchmalentinesDay people who are lacking in the romantic bones department and occasionally forget this calender event, your dark #AntiValentinesDay heart hates this day with all your might and scowls in defiance, the overly enthusiastic single kid who celebrates each year with a #ValentineMixer, you're a #BrosBeforeLadies kind of bro or you're more of a #SistersBeforeMisters or #GalentinesDay kinda gal.


With the exception of the love bug campers, whatever your hashtag, we think you'll find comfort in what we think you should do on Valentine's Day.
 

#SchmalentinesDay Couples

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If you're lucky enough to read this great article on Schmalentine's Day before the big day, we have some great advice for you.

We think you are likely to grab that brand name box of chocolates sitting at the end of the grocery store isle moments after realising it's Valentine's Day. Don't do it! Chocolate like your Cadbury Favourites and their competition are packed with all of the bad stuff. They contain ingredients like Colours, Acids and Preservatives. These additives get straight to work on your teeth, attacking enamel and blocking good saliva from looking after your teeth. Most damage caused by these extra ingredients occurs within the first few seconds at the time of consumption.

We suggest you stick to your #SchmalentinesDay ways and join forces with your significant other to cook a meal together, make-out and … well you can figure out the rest.
 

#AntiValentinesDay People

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You are gifted with the best kind of chocolaty delight, one that matches your heart and 'significantly adds nutritional value to your health' according to many Top 10 Health Benefits of Dark Chocolate type lists on the internet. Dark Chocolate.

We know you have already told everyone at work that you're going home to have a black tea and eat from your fave bento box while playing the X-Box or feeding your pet bats. What you can do is treat yourself to some dark chocolate instead. Dark chocolate doesn't contain the nasty extras you will find in milk chocolate. It's loaded with organic compounds that work on a biological level to act as a good source of antioxidants for the body or such things as helping to reduce blood pressure. Containing little to no additives, dark chocolate is a healthier alternative to other chocolates.

Remember to check your labels for ingredients and we're happy for you to treat your dark self. It can be our little secret.
 

#ValentineMixer

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OMG it's going to be the BEST. You've triple checked the guest list, you've made a playlist on spotify, you have your paper cups stacked and hopefully you aren't making stick-on name tags for everyone to wear. But what about the food?

Chocolates aren't the best finger food idea for a party, too much sugar. We suggest you stick to a few healthy snacks that will bring your single guests closer. Celery and carrot sticks with a tub of hummus is great. As your guest, lets call her Sharron, scoops out a sizeable portion of hummus with a three sided piece of carrot, she inadvertently flicks a blob of hummus on to Darren's forearm as he reaches for a celery stick. The two meet eyes, exchange smiles, and Sharron finds herself eating the blob of hummus from Darren's forearm. It all happens very fast.

They instantly fall in love and live happily ever after. Or until the next morning when Sharron wakes with her hair on backwards and her shoes still on, realising she had one too many tequila sunrises last night. Should have stuck to the celery and hummus Shaz.
 

#BrosBeforeLadies

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Bros who don't need a lady don't need chocolate. You're never ending bromance with your mates, lads, fellas, boysss or crew mean you're likely to spend the evening with your bros.

We think the modern day bro should get to enjoy the finer things in life, light beer and some crackers. No, but stick to drinks low in fat such as vodka and soda with lime or light beer to ensure your stomach stays trim and your dental health great. If you're feeling extra fancy use straws in your vodka soda to keep your teeth free from additives and fatty drinks leave behind little gifts on your teeth that eat away at enamel and cause permanent damage to your teeth.

Like all good bros make sure you brush your teeth and floss before passing out with your all of your bros or alone in your bed, or on your bros floor, with a smile on your face knowing you had a great time with your bros.


#SistersBeforeMisters & #GalentinesDay

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You've gathered all of your gal pals, or gay guy gal pals, and you want them all to come together and celebrate the sister-hood and share the love. It's all very Leslie Knope-esk with personalised gifts, great conversation and essays on why you love your gals so dearly.

We doubt chocolates are high on the list of gift bag items and aren't worried about how your teeth or oral hygiene will fare on this occasion.

Feel free to celebrate #GalentinesDay on it's traditional February the 13th or save your single selves for the actual day and celebrate in #SistersBeforeMisters style (see #BrosBeforeLadies for party drink ideas).


The #EmergencyDentist Says:  

If Valentine's Day lands a box of chocolate in your lap, eat away with a smile on your face and portion your intake. Then brush your teeth right after. Especially if you're lucky enough to be making out with someone that day.

We Rate This Day :  2 out of 5 teeth for Oral Health


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